Posted By datelush on June 21, 2010
As many of you have probably noticed, I don’t go on a lot of good dates, well at least not yet. However, last Thursday that all changed when I went on my first good date of 2010. Yes, it was a really good date! I know it took me a while to report, however, maybe I was just in utter shock that I didn’t have to leave the date early because the guy was a complete asshole. I don’t know. But all I do know is that I was able to finish not one, not two, but three full drinks and split a small pizza with my date, while simultaneously having a splendid time!
Men listen up, you want to know what makes a great date? Well here it is, listen carefully. First of all, it took a while for us to meet up. We met on OkCupid and talked a lot online before actually meeting. To be honest, I was off dating for a few weeks, so putting off the date was more on my end than his. Anyhow, we eventually ended up meeting up at fabulous San Fran bar called Yoshi’s. Now if you have never been, I suggest getting in your car now and heading over there. For those of you who don’t know, Yoshi’s is a jazz club/restaurant/bar. There is literally a jazz gig every night with fairly well-known jazz musicians passing through San Francisco.
We didn’t end up listening to any live jazz, however, we did sit in the bar area and take in all the jazz enthusiasts and poppin’ atmosphere. So anyways, about the actual date, ahem. Originally, I was going to show up about half hour early to get a good seat at the bar, start with a drink to loosen up, possibly shoot the shit with the bartender and wait for my date to walk in. I don’t know why I like to do this, but I love going to a date early to watch them walk in. I suppose it might be a control thing: you’re there first, you get the first look at them and you can observe them just for a few seconds before they spot you and you flag them down.
However, on this particular night, I was not really in the mood to go out on a date, so I had to call a dear friend to get a little encouragement, which I did, took a deep breath and heading into the bar, on time.
I immediately saw him sitting at the bar alone chatting it up with the bartender. It gave me just enough time for him not to notice me and put my purse down slyly in the chair next to him, not allowing him to get the first glimpse. After I sat down, I said hello and he turned around shocked that he did not have the opportunity to watch me walk in. Instantly, I noticed his sexy French accent.
Then the random small talk began. Where do you live in the city, what do you do for work, why are you online dating, what type of activities do you partake in, etc, etc, etc. The weird thing about it was that everything he described about himself, fit me as well. For example, he is the adventurous type, could pack up his bags tomorrow and leave for another country, would love to find his passion in life, runs around the Panhandle for exercise and likes mashup music. When he began describing how music affects his mood immensely, I just had to interject. I’m normally not that into zodiac signs, but I just had to ask him what his sign is and well, he is a Cancer, as am I. And the even weirder thing is that we were both wearing brown leather jackets. Hahaha. Totally weird, but interesting at the same time that we literally the same person.
Ok, just realized that I didn’t actually say why this was a good date. Sorry guys. A few things…
1.) He didn’t insult me, but found everything that I do in my life (even weird things) to be very interesting. He seemed very open-minded about life in general, which is what I like. I mean, you don’t have to agree with everyone on everything, but especially on the first date, at least be polite about it and accept it. At least for the time being.
2.) He paid. Call me old fashion or what have you, but I like it when a guy pays on the first date. We didn’t order anything extravagant, so it didn’t make me feel guilty about him paying. I always offer, but secretly I like it when the guy pays for the first date. I can pay for the second date, but the first date, please shell out the cash. I’m worth it dammit!
3.) We talked about interesting things. For example, if you could have any job, what would it be, do you like to travel, what is a typical weekend like for you and what are you passionate about. I like people that can get real with me on the first date. Don’t bullshit me if you hate your job or don’t know what exactly you are meant to do in this world. Talk about it. Usually by being extremely open, your date will open up to you as well. Trust me, it works every time.
4.) I usually don’t talk about dating on a date, but for some reason we just ended up there and it was okay. Now, he wasn’t talking about ex-girlfriends, but just dating in general. Like how online dating is very intriguing or how dating American women is different than dating French women and why.
5.) Lastly, he didn’t try to kiss me at the end of the date. He just gave me a hug, got my number and asked if we could hang out again. And, he didn’t put any pressure on me about going on another date. He simply said “I would like to meet up again” and I said “okay no problem”. There wasn’t that awkward question that some guys pose which is “how do you think the date went”. I have gotten that question more times than I would like to admit and it is awkward as hell! I mean awkward to the tenth degree! Why would you ever put someone on the spot like that? Do you really think they would be honest with you to your face?! Well… to be fair, some women would, but most wouldn’t, not even if you asked them that question via text message the next day. Just don’t do it.
Anyways, all and all, the date went extremely well. I was able to stay for the entire date and finish a few drinks, he didn’t insult me in any way and I made a new connection in my neighborhood. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel any sparks, but I would like to continue to be friends with him and I think he would like to be friends with me as well